Would You Like Sex With That Sir?

By: Michael Seinberg

Here’s a new one: A woman is claiming in a federal lawsuit that McDonald’s is responsible, in part, for forcing her into the world’s oldest profession. Oh, and it happened 20 years ago. Oh, and she married the guy who did this to her. Confused? Read on.

Shelley Lynn claims that she was hired by one Keith Handley, who, in 1982 gave her a job as a counter person at a McDonald’s in Arroyo Grande, CA. According to the suit, Handley owned the franchise through his company Ivernia. In December of 1985, the two began dating and shortly afterwards she was fired on trumped up charges of insubordination. Handley then bought her a house in Las Vegas where she had plans to become an entertainer, but he quickly claimed poverty and told her she needed to become a highly paid sex worker in order to afford to keep her new home and lifestyle.

By 1986, Lynn was working at the Chicken Ranch brothel in Nevada, where she was a “top booker” having sex with up to 12 men in a single evening. Oddly enough, in March of 1988, she and Handley were married though it’s unclear if, at that point, she was still a sex worker. And then, in a complete surprise to all who knew them, the couple divorced. OK, deep breath; here’s where it gets really strange. Really.

After two decades, Lynne is suing Handley, Ivernia, and McDonald’s and suggests her foray into sex work might never have happened had McDonald’s done a better job of vetting their franchisees, offered a grievance procedure for employees who felt they’d been wrongly fired, or offered affirmative action to encourage women to buy franchises. She also suggests that McDonalds’ penchant for paying minimum wage, offering no pension benefits, and offering a lousy health plan, were contributing factors. She even says, “Handley also engaged in pimping operations out of the McDonald’s franchises he owned.” So, of course she married him.

Poor McDonald’s. They’ve been blamed for worldwide obesity. They’ve been sued again recently because their coffee is allegedly the same temperature as the sun’s core. And now, they’re being accused of causing women to become sex workers. Next thing you know they’ll be accused of kicking puppies. Being an evil corporate giant just ain’t what it used to be.


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